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Friday, September 24, 2004
Wow, I just got home from a football game and we actually won! That totally threw off my bet w/ Shane though, I really want those pez! Man, when someone wins them, they better give me them! It was 33- to.... i think 7? someone correct me if i'm wrong. i bet that we would lose, but to my surprise we didnt. oh well. it was a real fun game i thought. and remember that guy i wanted to ask to homecoming.. well he's not going at all. his name is mark. he's a varsity football player and we've been friends since 5th grade. he's a real sweetie, but even miranda asked him and normally he would say yes to her, but he said he wasnt going. so that was pretty convincing to me. oh well.. i gave corey my phone number tonight at the game cause i guess i'm going with him. that's alright though, cause he's a total sweetheart and he's soo funny! AND he's my height so I can dance with him!! it's great. i really would have liked to go w/ mark though.. oh well. all these stupid rumours are going around about me, justin, joel, and jamie. they're really f*cked up. (better ted?) lol. i'm just so sick of them. and then morgan and seth got dragged into this. then morgan's boyfriend gabe, then i think ben. soo yeah... it sucks. man, it was funny today in history. all we did was talk cause mr. omalley was mad at the school for having school and a football game during a hurricane and having so many friggen announcements. it was great. he's actually a nice guy. his class sucks though. lol. well the guy i really really like is going to the dance w/ his girlfriend and sharing a limo with ppl... it sucks. but at least he's happy. i talked to him today. i wrote him a note and he wrote back :) lol. no biggie.. i guess... i'm friends w/ asa again i guess, she talked to me about it after njhs meeting yesterday. i'm gonna run for vice president cause i dont wanna be president, just vice. i think i would get elected, it should be easy. but i've been talking to justin a lot lately too... man he's great. really really great. he said he would f*ck jon up for me if he kept not listening to me and getting on my nerves. :) funny stuff. today at the game i actually talked to garrett. i havent talked to him in a while. he's so cute and such a sweetie. also, shaun said something that made me laugh. he said he would LOVE to see me and john get into a fist fight. so would i!!! well i'm off to bed, cliff just left not too long ago, its about 11:40 pm... so yeah. and we might be evacuating tomorrow. ANOTHER DAMN HURRICANE!! like the 5th figgen one!! i think.. lol. so if i dont write for a while, that's why. oh wait, just gotta give another shout to ted! dude EVERYONE BETTER READ HIS COMMENT ON THE BELOW ENTRY!! he's so awesome :) i miss him. well gotta go to bed now.. until later..
Posted at 11:44 pm by Stelle301
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004
À$h
Im just really pissed now. People are fuckin gay. So what the hell. All I gotta say is thank GOD I have Mel, Cliff, and Justin. I looooovee you Justin!!! You made me smile today :) Today was a good morning, Thomas smiled at me :) , Mark said hi to me, and Chris told me I was pretty. That made me blush. Then I got to band (my now least favorite class) and everything kinda snowballed from there. The guy I like is going to homecoming with someone else.. why did I think I even had a chance? It was stupid of me. Justin's taking Asa in a fuckin limo for god's sake. And I'm just hopin the second guy I'm gonna ask will say yes.... I really hope so. If not then I'm going w/ Corey. I already told Jimmie no, what the hell. And no one better bitch to me about that. (Caroline or Asa) It's my fuckin decision so back the fuck up. But yeah.. oh well. I'm goin to fuckin bed. Peace bitches.
Posted at 08:57 pm by Stelle301
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004
The Wonderful Lobby Gang!!
I miss u guys. :(
Posted at 10:48 pm by Stelle301
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Monday, September 20, 2004
Man was I dreading going to school this morning. I did not want to show my face.. I hate my hair. But today it was really funny. All the older, more mature guys said they really liked it, and I can tell when people are just being nice. And all the little immature guys just were being gay. (cough cough john) Oh well, I really don't give a shit, the guy I like said he liked it, but it's still not gonna make a difference. I went to justin's today. With Mel and Tito. It was alright. He's a sweet guy. Then Cliff comes over like he does EVERY monday, and ate all my food lol. He's the best. I love him to death!! Me n him put the cocks up on the kitchen counter. (Dont think dirty, my mom has chicken statues lol) He even tried to help me pick out something to wear tomorrow to look good to get asked to the dance :) I already did get asked to the dance, just as friends though. I mean, Jimmie's a really sweet guy... I'm just hoping a guy I like asks me. :) REALLY big hope. Lol, if not I'll just go w/ Jimmie or just skip the homecoming completely. It's really not a big deal to me. It would be a nice change though. :) Got a crap load of homework to do like usual that I havent started on, so I'll write tomorrow maybe.
Yet another masterpeice by Tim Burton
Posted at 08:30 pm by Stelle301
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Sunday, September 19, 2004
Well friday was a major dissappointment. I found out that the guy I am so totally into now has a girlfriend. I've really started to like him alot, but now I have an even worse chance that I had before. Man, he is gorgeous though.. it makes me feel all weak everytime I look at him, and to know I dont have a chance. I feel so sorry for myself everytime I'm around him and know it could never be. It just feels completely horrible. Saturday wasn't much better. I got my hair cut by this barbie doll bitch who totally fucked it up. Damn idiot. I've been trying to fix it best I can though... now I REALLY REALLY don't have a chance at all with him.. I did have a very deep conversation with my best friend though on saturday night. (Cliff) He made me feel alot better. I had avoided all mirrors that day and when we were talking, I totally forgot about everything. Then I looked in the mirror and started getting teary. I couldn't cry though, no matter how teary I get, they don't fall. ...and that was my weekend
***Today
today my dad took me to the beach and i brought my two bestest buddies in the whole entire world. (cliff and mel) we had a good time. i've got alot of memorable pics :) we all were hoping for a tan, but the sun kinda hid when we got there. so we're all still white as ever. lol. we had cheeseburgers and stuff and took turns throwing amber in the pool when we got home. so it wasnt a bad day. i got home and talked to jimmie, he was telling me all the bullshit joel said to him at the football game on friday. oh well, he's an ass and jimmie didnt listen to him so its all good. oh yeah, bout the football game. lets see who i saw and talked to there:
Jimmie
Matt
Cameron
Joel (ew)
Corey (got cute! and TALL!!!!)
Jake and his..
...not made up girlfriend! ha!
Hannah
Derek
Jarrell (sweetie)
and some other people..
it was a good half time show, it was damn hot though!! but all and all it was a good game, until i found out that bad news up there ^^^ bout the guy i like :( oh well.. i never really had a chance anyways. gotta run, write tomorrow
Love me
Posted at 11:03 pm by Stelle301
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Thursday, September 16, 2004
 Once again another bad day. I was having such a good week up until yesterday, I think I might have jinxed myself. Well lets see, today was just bad.. there were a few good things about today, but that's it. Tonight at the JV game I just felt really stressed out and not belonging. I had this sudden urge that I belonged down there with those damn cheerleaders, but then I thought, no.. I belong on this line. Then I figured it out, I dont think I belong anywhere. I cant seem to find a place for me at this school. At least not a place that really accepts me and know the true me. Where I can be myself and still be happy. You know.. I think I've found the problem with me. Whenever I feel anger, I just dont know what to do ro say, so I just end up being stupid and making myself look like an ass.
Whenever I feel deep depression, I cant let it out. I would feel soo much better if I could just let it out and cry, but I cant. I dunno why. When I feel a physical attraction between me and another guy... well it wont go past that. I can't feel a liking for someone anymore. What the hell is wrong?? What is wrong with how my emotions and feelings come out? I mean... I don't really think there are major defects in my life to make me feel like this. Yeah, I have the same problems everyone else has, maybe a few more or less, but still.. this is wrong. Wrong and gay.. seriously, gay.
Today science was gay.
Today band was gay.
Today creative writing was alright. Ricky offered me an escape out of there and I gladly took it. We went to the band room for a bit. It was better than sitting there doing nothing.
Today history was gayer.
Everything was hell tonight. I mean hell. I had an emotional rollercoaster going on inside of me tonight. I wish it would like just stop. Well I gotta go, my idiot teacher assigned me a butt load of homework and I got home around 9:30 and hardly ever went home before practice, so yeah... idiots.
Posted at 10:19 pm by Stelle301
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Man, today did not go normal. Ok, first my alarm clock didnt wake me up. Next there
were no clean towels in my bathroom so I had to get them out of the dryer. Then, I
have this kind of toast EVERY day that I go to school, and there was no more today!
And there was no orange juice. And I had really bad cramps today because this morning
when I went to take an ibueprofen, there were only two left and I need one for
tomorrow so I only took one and it only lasted half the day! Then I didnt get to talk to
the guy I liked today... :( I was really looking forward to that. Band was fun though,
always is. I dunno. It just didn't seem normal, then Joel and me had the longest
conversation we've had in a couple months and it was the grossest stuff! Oh well...
hopefully tomorrow will be better. Hopefully... I mean, it should be cause we get to play
the JV game tomorrow :) and I get to see this really hot JV football player.... Mo, you
kno who I'm talking about! :)!!! Man, he's cute! Well anyways, I had a near death
experience yesterday night. I was eating a hershey's kiss and I chewed it up and
swallowed it and then my throat closed up!!! I couldn't breathe for like a whole 30
seconds!! I was soo freaked out.. it was scary. And I didn't get to call Shaun back :(
but I got to talk to him today in band so it's all good. I saw these two hotties in the car
today when I was walking home.. they waved at me! Lol.. maybe because it was Ricky
and Garrett! Ha! Man, they're hot. :) Well I'll write later tonight maybe.. ttyl
Posted at 05:40 pm by Stelle301
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Monday, September 13, 2004
Well I'm sure we all know today we had to go back to school from our wonderful hurricane vacation. Although I think it's dum that they are making up those days during our winter vacation. People have plans with family for christmas you know.. although, I still have to be somewhere the first week of summer, so I'm not totally complaining. Today was my first debut at school with my braces off. No one really noticed unless they had seen me at my house before (melissa, brandon, cliff, john, monique, joe, and jordan.) A couple of people said something though, like today in creative writing, Ricky said something as soon as I walked in. :) And then he got Al to agree. Lol. Little things like that make me feel a little better about myself. I know it's silly, but I mean, a girl has to get her self esteem from somewhere right? Lol.
O man, today in band, our whole section was having this great talk about the gynocologist. Man.. it funny how differently Zack and John both react to that subject. Zack was very mature about it, not grossing out or poking fun at the subject. John, on the other hand, was laughing and saying ew! Oh well, boys will be boys. Speaking of which, I felt really good today. I actually read a whole book with my little brother. I'm glad I'm spending more time with him. He's actually really sweet, when he's not all hyped up on sugar. Oh yeah, also, today drumline practice got screwed up so me and my boys (Cliff and Tito) had to walk home. The convos I had with them were treasurable though. I mean, I was just thinking about it. Those are MY boys. Lol. Wow... I have boys... who would've thought. Well I think I'm gonna turn in, I have to get up early tomorrow. Xox0
Posted at 10:25 pm by Stelle301
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
I just got done watching this movie called "Pumpkin". Man, is that a powerful movie. You see, I tend to go for more of the underdog type movies... I dunno why but I do. During this movie I wanted to cry histarically like about 7 times, and I've only seen from about the middle of the movie to the end. But I didnt cry cause all my family was sitting right there.. and I don't like people to see me cry. But man.. if you like those kinda movies, watch this one. It's call Pumpkin and it has Christina Ricci in it. It'll make you cry if you have a heart.
The Lesson I Learned From This Movie:
** Only people who suffer, can grow into beauty.
Posted at 12:37 am by Stelle301
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Saturday, September 11, 2004
Hello. Today was an "eventful day". Well I thought I was going to go to the mall today, but then my mom said she wasn't feeling good. She really scared me when she said that.. not just because she didn't feel good, but the way she looked at me when she said it. Like she really needed help. So I basically stayed and helped her the whole morning. Then after she took a nap I got to order a pizza, did some homework, and read Mel's horrible blog entry!I felt so bad for her. There are so many things wrong with her durn body!! Lol no offense Lissa. Then I went on a walk with my dog and my little brother, and that's when I decided to get my brother outdoors more. I don't want him growing up indoors all the time. So I decided to set up some games outside for me and him. It was alright, my favorite was when we took his skateboard and put it on the slide in the backyard and slid down it. That was great. Well I am going to leave you for now.
**For all those who suffered a loss today three years ago.. my deepest sympathies.
9/11
This beautiful photograph can be found on photographsamerica.com
Posted at 08:32 pm by Stelle301
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